Monday, November 20, 2006

This lobster is huge!

Does WG Sinclair exist? He has reviewed three products for Amazon. The review that caught my eye was for a colossal ten-pound New England live lobster. (Yes, it can be yours for $149 plus shipping.)
This lobster is huge!

I bought this for my Aunt's 79th birthday, when she opened the container she go the surprise of her life when she was confronted with this monster. It took ten of us to lift it out of the box, which wasn't easy with all its squirming about but it was all good fun especially when the lobster snipped Jimmy's tie off, he was so surprised, he lost his grip and the lobster fell to the floor. It was a slippery beast to catch but in the end I managed to harpoon it and get it in the pot.

Once it was cooked up this lobster was delcious, once of the best I've ever had. It tasted a bit like a cross between chicken and mutton with some anchovie. I even kept he shell of it and enjoy wearing to about the street, it fits perfectly and the giant pincers terrify kiddies and the ladies simply can't resist them.

I award this lobster five stars and a WG Sinclair double thumbs up.
I like this better than shooting David Hasselhoff in a barrel. But Sinclair might learn a thing or two from the people mocking Amazon's milk. And the best are these joke reviews by Jon Swift, all beginning with the phrase "I have not actually read this book." E.g., on Maureen Dowd's Are Men Necessary?:
I have not actually read this book but I want Ms. Dowd to know that men are very necessary. Without men, for example, I think we would be losing the War in Iraq. I used to like Ms. Dowd when she was attacking President Clinton for having sex but now she is attacking President Bush and there is no evidence whatsoever that he is having sex so I don't understand what the problem is.
According to Mr. Swift's blog, Amazon has begun to take down these gems, so he has compiled them there. (He also has a brilliant misreading of Battlestar Galactica.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess if you spent $150 on a lobster in a box, you'd be compelled to leave a review too. Adventure on the high seas!

12:10 AM  
Blogger the chocolate doctor מרת שאקאלאד said...

You can buy live animals on Amazon?

Shame about them taking down Swift's reviews. I noly just looked at some Amazon reviews for the first time last week. Some of the folks out there are impresssive. I wonder if anyone's been studying this new genre.

10:51 AM  
Blogger The Duke of Prunes said...

My colleague sent me the link to your blog after searching for WG Sinclair. I can confirm that he does exist, for I am WG Sinclair. I did not know that amazon sold milk, those reviews were bloody hilarious and I am sure they will be a huge insipation.

If you want to read the rest of my badly written reviews they are all on my site:

All the best,
WG Sinclair.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Br!t said...

Cool website. I found it when I was searching for unique ice cream flavors someone had your site posted on another message board...Anyways, you have got to post a pic of this huge-ass lobster...please!



7:56 PM  

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