Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Answers to questions you didn't ask


-Is there a frying pan that takes up less space? A roll-up frying pan saves you those precious cubic centimeters. Now if they can come up with a roll-up standing mixer or blender I might be interested, but a pan is a flat thing. You can hang it on a wall or store it on its side in a narrow cabinet. The new product does look cool, though, which I think is the main idea. (via)

-Is there some way of adding fat and protein to my cocktail? A-ha! The pork Martini:
In these pomo days, when old formulas are reborn with futile twists for our fickle, fin-de-si├Ęcle tastes, the meat cocktail stands out above wobbly, cranberry-tainted attempts at bar trendiness. When one abandons the olive garnish for that of a pork-rind wedge, the pork Martini merges the flavors of the working class with that of wealthier ones, bridging social strata. It has the humanitarian goal of bettering the nutrition of alcoholics, offering protein for those who prefer their lunches liquid: since meat digests longer, it will both inebriate and offer nutrients for longer periods! It will open new markets to pork consumption, adding American jobs to every level of the meat-industrial complex. And, finally, it looks really weird.
I actually hate this kind of thing and wish there were less of it on the internet: weird, dumb shit people do so that other people will pay attention and say, "hey, that's some weird, dumb shit!" Hate, hate, hate it! But not as much as websites that blast open ads that talk and sing to you unprovoked. (via)

-What's going on inside my fridge when I'm not there standing at the open door? A Flickr group reveals the answer.
It's as simple as it is strange. A photo taken with the door closed, using your camera's timer function. The timer is important. Please do not attempt to get in the fridge yourself. Your flash will probably be needed too, unless your fridge light stays on when the door is closed (a good chance to find out!), or you have some of transparent fridge.
-Which celebrity do I most resemble? Find out using facial-recognition software. According to this bizarre website, the celeb I most resemble is David Bowie of the Let's Dance era.

2 Comments:

Blogger zp said...

I am dying to try facial recognition software!!!!

So many things are on the fritz right now but, suddenly, first on my "to do" list is fix firefox so I can discover my inner celeb. Do you submit lots of pics? If not, I am sure I will submit different pics over and over again until I like the celeb. Then I will have my Donald Sutherland photo, my Ashton Kutcher photo, etc. Do you have to give them a gender? Can I lie? Do I have some very agendered photos?

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Rhi said...

Dear god, those 'martinis'...look horrific.

I apparently look like Jena Malone and Emma Watson. Who knew?

1:19 AM  

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