Thursday, September 15, 2005

This is your kid on TiVo

We thought that having a kid on TiVo would be the ultimate childrearing problem solved. Television is full of images and sounds that children should never see or hear. I'm referring to advertisements for harmful products that no one needs, especially foods high in partially hydrogenated vegetable oil or high fructose corn syrup. Nix those two nutritional bugaboos and our world would be a better place.

Well, our kid never sees commercials--not even in triple-fastforward--because the only channel he watches is Noggin, which has none. But his relationship to the media is the total opposite of ours as children. He never has to wait for his show to come on. He expects the boring or scary parts to be skipped using a quick finger on the FF. If he doesn't like something, he bleats, "No, no, no, no," until we find him something better. And we always find him something better; he can always find pleasure in media. At any time during his wakeful hours he can run over to where we "hide" the remote and moan, groan, whine, and wail until we zap him into his happy zone. At this point we wish he had the skills to work the damn thing himself.

This is your kid on TiVo: instantly, easily satisfied. Can this be good?


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